/bɪ ə gʊd gɜ:l/ n. moniker of she who blogs here [also known as, bie]; adj. personal awesome advice to all female kiddos

meet the fam #thechennies

meet the fam #thechennies

A letter to my 20yo self

Before the year ends, I just wanted to say hi since we haven't talked in a bit.

So you've started year one of NUS and really enjoyed reading for soci so far. Go ahead and plunge into your studies because university is the best time of your life. It's when you toss rote learning out the window and never look back.
They say a general degree won't bring you far in today's society, and it's true that you won't be doing a profession related to your studies. But you would have loved every minute of knowledge, debate and discovery.

You will very soon start dating your best guy friend, after much hemming and hawing, the two of you decide to give each other a go.
It's kind of awkward when you meet your exes, but trust me, it will pass. The husband and you will remain good friends with them both.
And you will go on to fall more in love with him every day and eventually have the two most beautiful girls.
And he, will be everything you hoped for and more. So throw caution to the wind and love with all your heart.

After four years of disappearing from your best friend's life, you will reconnect with her by sobbing your heart out.
This is the best decision you have made in a long time.
She will be there when you laugh, when you cry, when you rejoice, even when you mourn.
You've always wished for a girlfriend that would never let you go. This is she. Make sure you never let her go too.

And guess what? You will eventually reconcile with old friends that you thought you had lost. Enjoy those wistful moments you didn't think would happen again.
There are also firm friends you made from school days and from work, who will make you appreciate what you have in life and stand by you when you are down. It might seem improbable now but really.

Pocket wise, stop taking money from your mother. She is spoiling your sorry ass (and will continue to do so for a damn long time). Stop making excuses and earn some money yourself.
And on that note, stop spending money on frivolous buys. Hairclips, spaghetti strap tops, boxer undies, graphic tees, bermudas, cushions and soft toys are some examples that immediately come to mind.

Exercise now. You're going to wish you were always this fit.

Don't try to ditch the Coke. It won't work. Sigh, but you should.

Go back to Church. Because.

But most importantly, spend more time loving your family and less time on inconsequential spats. Relish the curries with Ah Gong and Ah Ma, the shopping trips and gossip seshs with Qiu, the CNY get togethers with the extended gang and come home for dinner with Mumo, Daddy, Jie and Vin.
You knew it was coming, but you will never be prepared to lose your loved ones when the time comes. Still, after the tears and heartache, you will believe deep down that heaven is a better place for them.

Happy New Year, Bie. May you find strength in being the person you hope you will become. Just a bit stubborn, depressed at times and anti-social. Unfortunately, you won't shake off those traits. And neither will your grasp of Chinese be very much better. Work harder at that though because your daughters are counting on you (and much more).

Love, 30yo me


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